Happy Birthday Bandit!
by wafflewolves
Summary: It's August 13th meaning it's Bandit's birthday, so what is the major event that happens. Warning: Hints of slash


**Author's Note: Here it is, another birthday story. Something short and quick as it is the major event that occured. If you can view, you can review. Right? (Am I wrong?)**

August 13th 1974 was his date of birth. Now it was that very day in 2016, Dominic Brunsmeier was finally 42 years old. The best part was that some of his very friends from his time in GSG9 were present. Although it was his own birthday, Dominic said he would try to avoid drinking at all, it didn't seem like a birthday spirit thing to do. It was a fair thing to say that he was being stared at by the new ten man GSG9 squad. Cedrick stared dead center into his eyes as Bandit tried to look away but then ended up locking eyes with someone else. His old girlfriend Elisabeth Fischer sat legs crossed on her chair. Frederick Fuchs was playing with his ponytail. Erik Winter whose hair perfectly fit his name watched Bandit as the birthday boy started to develop an on edge feeling. Johann Keller slid onto looking on his phone checking any feed updates. Kai Wolf, one of the world's best counter terrorism unit marksmen resorted to throwing balls of paper into a trash bin. Monika Weiss almost always had something to do on her phone and continued to do so. Elias Kötz struggled to think of a good joke and but then the one and only Marius Streicher thought of something, autobahn. What could be more exciting than watching a race between a future husband and wife. He was so excited he spilled out the word autobahn. Everyone gave him a questioning look. So Marius said it again.

"Autobahn guys. Why not have our birthday boy here race his fiancé. After all Cedrick gave her a Konigsegg and he got an Audi. I don't think Dominic needs to follow the speed limit on his birthday and anyway the flat stretch of road is owned by us."

"I never wanted to say this Dominic but I think my Swedish car will kick your ass," said IQ.

"In your fucking dreams," replied Bandit.

"Oh it's on lover boy," spat IQ competitively. The two head off to the garage while Blitz stared Jäger down to the chair.

"Oh come on Elias, what the hell did I do wrong now?" asked Jäger.

"I think you forgot that Monika will do anything to win and that won't be fair to Dominic. With Sweden's best performance car, you're literally asking him to lose," said Blitz. Jäger knew that but there was one thing Blitz seemed to forget about him, he was a mechanic, a really good one.

"Mechanic skills activated, get me my tool box Elias, you're about to see the fastest Audi ever made," replied Jäger.

"Ah I fucking love you're creativity, let's go fix that car Marius," said Fredrick as the 6'6'' figure swooped down on him and picked him up over the shoulder. The completely one-sided team went to Bandit's aid. As the news about the race spread, people quickly began to pick sides. Valkyrie was the only other girl besides Elisabeth who supported Bandit's side. Which made Ash, Frost, Caveira, and Twitch on IQ's side. Blackbeard went with the normal statistics and picked IQ. Buck chose the car from the colder country. Shelly and Jacks decided to play against the normal odds and chose Bandit. Keith chose Bandit while Greg chose IQ. Keith said he would permanently call Greg ginger if Bandit won but Greg had confidence the girl would win. Tachanka convinced all the other old men (Capitão, Montange, and Thatcher) that Bandit would win since he was older than IQ. Castle, Pulse, and Thermite went with IQ along with Sledge, Smoke, Fuze, and Rook. Glaz and Mute made an easy agreement for Bandit.

"What's up Marius?" asked Bandit who was already in his vehicle.

"You're getting a tune up whether you like it or not," answered Jäger.

"I don't think I need one Marius."

"Yes you do Dominic."

"You think you can beat that performance car with this crap."

"I'll do what I can Marius."

"Just let him give you a fix up Dominic, he cares about you," said Elisabeth.

"Well since you're a person I like listening to, fine," said Bandit. Jäger gave Bandit a face as he stepped out of the R8. He saw IQ sitting on the hood of her Agera.

"Feeling nervous Dominic?"

"Don't state the obvious Monika. How about you get your piece of Sweden and your entourage out of here."

"Whatever makes you think you'll win." IQ and her overly confident mob left the garage and Bandit was now left alone with his supporters.

"I'll make this car a win for us Dominic, that's a promise," said Jäger.

"Exactly what do you plan to do?" asked Thatcher.

"Install nitrous oxide since we don't have another engine that will be better than the one he already has," replied Jäger.

"So you're telling us this one thing will save the day?" asked Montagne.

"Every second counts. Monika will already be at 300 kilometers per hour at 14 and a half seconds. The race will be only 1 kilometer total making it critical for you to gain more speed at a faster rate than she does. Your Audi R8 GT gets to 200 kilometers per hour in 10.8 seconds, do math she will already be flying ahead. Once you get ahead make sure you stay in the middle to prevent overtake, it will unless she tries to kill you," said Jäger.

"The car is all yours Marius, make magic happen," said Bandit. Jäger took an hour to perfect the Bandit's car while his entourage had a standoff with IQ's outside. By the time they knew it, the two cars were side by side on the narrow strip of road. After a majestic show of Tai Chi by Doc, the Frenchman held his revolver in the air. Tobias was at the ending race line which was around 1000 yards away. Bandit was surprised by IQ's attitude, she didn't say anything like good luck, in fact she didn't say anything at all. Bandit just hoped that his car would make her competitive head fall off and bury itself in her ass which were the very words Jäger told him during the fix.

"I know you can do this Dominic," said Jäger who offered a fist bump. Bandit complied and put the hand back on the wheel. Doc held up three fingers and slowly moved down to one and then the gun shot. The two cars started off side to side and as soon as IQ pulled ahead, Bandit used the oxide and flew ahead. The distance was increasingly greatly as if she was slowing down. The Agera was now going faster as it appeared right behind his rear fender. Bandit used every speck of oxide he had left to get a boost and by the time he knew it, Tobias was in sight. IQ then unexpectedly slowed down and fell some distance behind once again. Tobias recorded the finish and they he hopped in for the drive back.

"Good job Dominic, and Happy Birthday indeed," said Toby.

"Thanks Toby."

"So what happens now?"

"I don't know really, cake, pictures, presents, I'll think about it."

"Sex?"

"Probably tonight."

"It was funny how she slowed down at the end."

"I'm going to ask her when we get back." Back at base, Team Bandit was alive in celebration as Bandit took the moment to talk to IQ.

"You slowed down after scaring me after saying you'll kick my ass."

"Happy Birthday Dominic, looks like I'm always a step ahead, you have been trolled."

"Come here you. I had to watch Jäger do work for an hour to make my car better than yours and you…" Bandit carried her had over his shoulder and a grip on her waist. He lightly slapped her butt. "Bad girl Monika, bad girl."

"I thought it would be fun if I did that Monika. Can you put me down now? I swear this is embarrassing."

"Marius!"

"Yes boss."

"Come with me we have a gold, white, and blue car to fix." Jäger immediately knew what Bandit was going to do but was surprised he was involved.

"Wait. We?"

"Let's call it spoiling Monika on my birthday."

"Oh dear," said IQ as the three figures walked back to team quarters.

"Dominic where are you going?" asked Keith.

"Can't you see? I have another car to fix."

"Can I help?"

"Don't you see Marius here?"

"You can't go all German."

"Maybe another time." Bandit then gave the come along gesture which confused Keith but then realized it was cover if other people heard.

 **Author's Note: Well I guess Bandit deserves a reward doesn't he and it was consensual if there's any challenges to that.**


End file.
